We are all stardust.

  • Jan. 1st, 2025 at 1:02 PM
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Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. The atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. You are all stardust. All the things that matter for evolution and for life weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars. The only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. ~Lawrence Krauss


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Lights

  • Dec. 18th, 2010 at 9:29 PM
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I'm finally starting to get into the holiday spirit. It took me a long time and I'm not in the same kind of giving spirit I normally am this time of year. Things seem really off, but I'm doing better. I started taking a new medication (Abilify) last week and after about 10 days, it's doing okay, but I'm a bit agitated - it gives me a lot of nervous energy, but I'm trying to ride it out. I'm hoping that it will go away once my body adjusts to the medication. I am not as severely depressed as I have been recently and I am very grateful for that.



I'm starting to see the lights and welcome the quiet and wonder at life again. These are all great things. I've had a very long week and a very long day and it's been crazy and tiring and terrible and good.

There are a lot of things going on:

- My roommate got a new job. In Pennsylvania. And she's moving out in January.
- I found out that I am eligible for short-term disability through my office, but then found out that only covers people who make 50,000 or more per year and that is not me. And then my HR office told me that they would find a way to try to cover me and now I'm trying to look at all my options. The HR office got back to me today, telling me not to fret and that I will be covered and giving me some instructions. So, apparently I am covered, but I'm a little skeptical.
- Now, I have to figure out what to do about where to live in the next 5 months and whether I want to stay here by myself and, if so, how I'm going to handle that. I also have to figure out what to do with my time and how I will stay active, social, and involved. I don't want to isolate myself, but I also will have an extremely tight budget and I'm not sure I can afford to get out and do much. I'd love suggestions on how to do that, if you have any.

I am at least not a complete mess, right now. I had a great talk with Rev. Nancy today about everything and she gave me such great encouragement. She pointed out the fact that I'm not a complete mess and told me exactly what I needed to hear, which was that I will somehow figure things out and that this could eventually be exactly what I need. I hope.

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raise your glass

  • Dec. 13th, 2010 at 8:30 PM
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Let’s hope it’s in all the right ways…
Eventually, I’ll learn to look at this whole experience as a learning thing and not the darkest part of my life. I will learn to be grateful for it instead of resentful of it. I will learn that the best thing I can do for myself is put myself first and not hang on to what anyone - ANYONE - thinks of it except for me. And I will learn more about what talents I bring to this world and what I can do with them and how I can create and let go. Eventually, I will learn to love myself not despite my faults, but because of them…
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